Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
