we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
