youre lurking in front of me
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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