yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
