I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Welp...herpes.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
