I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
