Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
