i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
