I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
