I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
