careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
