Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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