dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
