We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
