The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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