guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
