literally had 100 drinks last night.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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