Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
