And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
