what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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