did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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