i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
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"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
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