C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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