Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
