then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
