Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
