just tell him i said nine months
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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