I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
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HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize