That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My bed smells like the plague
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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