it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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