Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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