I'm jealous of your bromance
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
