hotel room ftw
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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