i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
