i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
