And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize