I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Boobs are out for the taking
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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