but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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