Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
