she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
