Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
