Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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