Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
