No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
