when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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