I just pynch a tree in the face
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
