...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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