sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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