OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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