just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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