Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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