Did you just see the Batmobile???
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
