Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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