She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
