come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
