So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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